We Need To Do Better – 2

If you missed the first post, you can read it here.

As Bimbo got to her Place of Primary Assignment (PPA), she confided in a very close friend, Tomi.

Thankfully, Tomi was completely sympathetic towards Bimbo and promised to break Lucky’s head when next she saw him (which she almost did).

As Bimbo sat down to reflect on what happened to her, she decided to share her story anonymously on one of the popular gossip blogs in Nigeria.

Before she went to bed, she sent the blog owner a mail describing everything that happened in hopes that someone would take interest in her case and help out, and to also save other girls from suffering the same plight.

She shut down for the night and went to bed.

The next morning

With shaky hands Bimbo typed in the URL to the blog site.

Her ‘story’ was right there at the top, and thankfully, the blogger had kept her anonymous. As she scrolled down and finished reading the post, she let out a sigh of relief because she had gained a bit of freedom.

Sadly, her relief was short lived as she scrolled further down to the comments section.

“All these girls wey no get home training, why you follow man go house?”.

“Prostitute”

“Taaaa, she was probably asking for it. I’m sure she had been making moves before but the guy said no”.

“Eyah, next time use your sense”.

“I’m sure this one is probably one of those private university girls wey no get sense”.

“She probably wore something to seduce the guy, and she’s here giving us zobo to drink”.

“I suspect the guy didn’t pay her for her services, she now came here to lie to us”

The insults went on and on and on. Bimbo was stunned.

“I mean, I just told people I was raped and I’m the one taking all the blame. Even women are here insulting me”.

She closed down the web page and continued with her life knowing that eventually, she would get through this.

This story is but one example of how people constantly shame victims.

No, she did not wear anything seductive to go to bed.

No, she never made any move, and would never make one.

No, she had no plans of ever sleeping with Lucky.

Unfortunately, she was friends with the wrong person, was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she paid dearly for it.

I cannot count how many times on Twitter someone has come forth to say that he/she was a victim of rape, and literally everyone starts to shame the victim. Silly comments fly up and down and ultimately nobody tackles the issue at hand or rebukes the rapist.

Initially, I admit I once was involved in victim shaming, but knowing Bimbo first hand completely changed my perception of the way rape cases often occur.

The unbelievable part was that Bimbo decided to tell her boyfriend what happened and all he could manage was, “Well, it’s your fault, you should’ve stayed at home”.

The nerve on that 🐐!!

Please, when we come across sensitive cases such as this (all rape cases are sensitive though) can we pause, listen thoroughly to the victims side of the story and learn to show sympathy instead of blabbing about why the guy chose to wear grey sweatpants, or why the girl didn’t see the red flags.

It’s not until you see screenshots, or some sort of ‘proof’, before you should show sympathy.

Tackle the problem at hand!

Call out rapists!

Stop obstructing justice!

WE ALL NEED TO DO BETTER

With love,

Ihuoma 🐞

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