One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to pray for 30 minutes everyday of 2018, and so far, I had been successfully completing this every morning.
Initially, I would tune into my church’s devotion and pray along with them, then I moved to praying on my own, and finally, I began to pray with gospel music playing in the background (I’m so grateful to the Holy Spirit for this idea).
Well, today for some reason, I didn’t pray in the morning like I had been doing and I decided to do it at night.
7:50pm arrived and I got a notification that devotion had started and I tuned in. After struggling to pray for about 7 minutes, I just abruptly stopped the devotion and logged out of the internet.
Then, a teeny tiny voice told me to just listen to music and that would do. Thank God I obeyed because it was hands-down the best decision I made today.
I recently started listening to Bethel Music, and their songs are just 🔥 🔥. So, I went to my playlist, and selected Jenn Johnson’s ‘Come To Me’ as the first song.
Brethren, that was when I fell apart.
There was this minor (not so minor) issue between a coursemate and I during the week. As the course rep, I am assigned tasks from time to time, and the results do not always ‘please’ some of my coursemates (such is life though).
So, I was given one of these kind of tasks, and the result did not go down well with this one guy AT ALL.
Long story short, he had been ignoring me since it happened.
As the music kept playing, I started crying. Fat tears rolling down my cheeks, and catarrh flowing freely 😂😂
Crying because someone just chose to say really nasty things about me for no just reason, crying because I tried apologizing and he ignored me, crying because I realized I was still harbouring unforgiveness in me (even though I thought otherwise), crying because I honestly didn’t deserve the names I was called.
annoying amazing part was that every song that played was about love and forgiveness. I cried even more when I realized this.
If you haven’t, you should listen to ‘For The One’ by Jenn Johnson x Bethel Music. This was probably the song that brought the most tears.
As I bawled my eyes out with my nose already blocked, I started to sing along. As I did, I started to feel much lighter in my spirit.
I told God I was sorry and that I wanted to love and see everyone like He did. I really can’t remember what exactly I said then, but as I type now, I feel so much happier than I did all through the day.
I don’t feel anger towards anyone again. Unforgiveness is gone and I feel lighter. I’ve finally come to realize now that I must have an endless supply of love and forgiveness to dole out, or I’d probably just keel over and die one day 😂😂
If Jesus could forgive those who crucified him, I know I won’t die if I forgive someone who just said a couple of mean things about me.
This may happen many more times than I can count, but I choose to forgive.
Oh, if you’re interested in the songs that played, I’d list them below in the order in which they played.
– Come To Me • Jenn Johnson
– God I Look To You • Bethel Music & Francesca Battistelli ( I just couldn’t find the live performance video)
– King Of My Heart • Bethel Music & Stephany Gretzinger & Jeremy Riddle
– For The One • Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson
– Breathe (Spontaneous) • Bethel Music & Amanda Cook
– In Over My Head • Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson
– Jesus We Love You • Bethel Music & Paul McClure
– You Are My One Thing • Hannah McClure & Bethel Music
– You Don’t Miss A Thing • Bethel Music & Amanda Cook
P. S: I’ll be starting my exams on the 29th of January. Your prayers would go a long way 😀